Patriots Dismember The Titans

Randy Moss had a natural hat trick with three touchdown catches.

Randy Moss had a natural hat trick with three touchdown catches.

The Titans/Oilers could have used a Denzel Washington pep talk after they were buried in the Blizzard of 59.

Tennessee was beat before they even got off the plane.

They must have seen the snow in October and said “FML”. You know what that means if you are up to speed on internet shorthand.

The Titans are shell of the team that went 13-3 last year. They have found every possible way to lose games and the game against the Patriots was no different.

Way to lose #6: Show zero effort.

You had to feel bad for Jeff Fisher. He has been with team when they were still the Houston Oilers. He is a true professional and a class act.

Too bad his team didn’t show that.

The Patriots looked at the Titans like a lion seeking out the wounded water buffalo of the herd.

National Geographic wouldn’t even air this mauling.

You will NOT see this game on NFL Network’s Replay.

The snow, cold, and wind were factors in this game, but not for the Patriots.

New England looked like they were playing in a dome.  They were doing their best “Greatest Show on Snowy Turf” impression.

After missing a field goal early in the game, the Patriots never looked back.

Laurence Maroney, who was last seen on the side of milk carton, had one of his best days of his career.

Maroney found a hole, didn’t seek a dance partner, and scampered 45 yards for a touchdown. He showed that open field explosiveness that had been bottled up for way too long.

This is his job to lose now. Morris (knee injury versus the Titans) and Taylor are both injured and out indefinitely. Maroney needs to take hold of the flame. If that flame doesn’t burn, he will be dancing in another NFL or (gasp) UFL city.

Belichick was ribbing Brady and his receiving corps about their lack of big plays in the passing game.

All they heard at practice and I am sure in their sleep, no plays over 30 yards. No plays over 30 yards.

Brady and the Patriots had a 10-0 lead going into the 2nd quarter and then

Brady had five TD passes in the second quarter.

Brady had five TD passes in the second quarter.

Titans began to realize they were in a living nightmare.

Freddy Krueger, Jason, and Mike Myers all came to their house to trick and treat.

They couldn’t run away from the Walking Dead.

And they couldn’t stop Tom Brady, Randy Moss, and Wes Welker.

Time to Dismember the Titans!

Before the Titans/Oilers could lock themselves in a closet and scream for help, the Patriots put up five touchdowns on them.

Halftime score 45-0.

What can Jeff Fisher say to his team? Don’t let up 90 points?

After the Titans, washed off the pig blood at the half (Carrie reference for the younger fans), Mr. Brady slashed them for another touchdown to Randy Moss.

Moss completed the natural hat trick with his third touchdown catch of the game.

Bring in the scrubs! Bring in the Scrubs!

I thought the preseason ended in August?

The Titans couldn’t even stop rookie backup quarterback, Brian Hoyer, who rushed for a touchdown. The scoring and bleeding finally ended when Stephen Gostkowski kicked the final extra point to make it…..

Jeff Fisher and the Titans were dismembered by the Patriots.

Jeff Fisher and the Titans were dismembered by the Patriots.

59-0!

Is it possible to cut a whole team (well not Chris Johnson, he is on my fantasy team)? Titans’ management may want to check into this.

Kerry Collins and Vince Young combined for -7 yards passing. This number is so unbelievable I won’t get into explaining it.

This “game” was the story of two teams going in opposite directions. The Patriots got the lead out and worked out a lot of the kinks in their passing game. Maroney built some confidence in his abilities and maybe the Patriots did too.

They are gearing up for their trip to London to see if they can break 60 against the lowly Buccaneers.

The Titans are left wondering if they can sew up their wounds and show up for the last 10 weeks of the season.

If not there is always, the UFL. Orlando may need players.

There were so many records broken by the Patriots yesterday that I will just list them before I get carpal tunnel syndrome.

Records broken or matched by the Patriots vs. Tennessee

Most points in a game – 59
Most points in a half – 45 in the first half
Most points in a quarter – 35 in the second quarter
Most total net yards in a game – 619
Most net passing yards – 426 (tie)
Most touchdowns – 8 (tie)
Most passing yards in a half – Tom Brady, 345
Most passing touchdowns in a half – Brady, 5 in first half
Most passing touchdowns in a game – Brady, 6 (tie)

In addition, the Patriots set two NFL records – most touchdown passes in a quarter (Brady, 5 in second quarter) and largest halftime lead (45-0).

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