NHL Lockout Holiday Gift Ideas: The Dynamic DOUCHE Nozzle Jeremy Jacobs Action Figure (PHOTO)
(Illustration: Mike Spicer)
Do you have a NHL fan on your Christmas list that is EXTREMELY PISSED OFF about the latest & GREATEST Lockout?
Then the “Dynamic DOUCHE Nozzle Jeremy Jacobs” action figure is for you!
For JUST $182 million dollars, you can RAISE the blood pressure of any hockey loving fan!
The Dynamic DOUCHE NOZZLE Jeremy Jacobs comes with the following features/abilities:
- The UNCANNY super power to DERAIL labor negotiations
- BULLY small market owners and bring them to tears
- NON-LUBRICATED middle finger that he can shove up the NHL & Bruins fans’ asses
- Pull the string to hear the following Jacobisms:
- “More than ever, we know who we are, what’s important to us and where we are going.”
- “Neely Brought Us The Cup, Something He Couldn’t Do As A Player”
- “I’m From Buffalo Why Would I Give A Rat’s Fat Ass About The People From Boston?”
- “I LOVE Lockouts. It’s Like VIAGRA For Me!”
- No batteries needed, this action figured is powered by melted down gold and $100 bills!