NHL Lockout Holiday Gift Ideas: The Dynamic DOUCHE Nozzle Jeremy Jacobs Action Figure (PHOTO)

(Illustration: Mike Spicer)

Do you have a NHL fan on your Christmas list that is EXTREMELY PISSED OFF about the latest & GREATEST Lockout?

Then the “Dynamic DOUCHE Nozzle Jeremy Jacobs” action figure is for you!

For JUST $182 million dollars, you can RAISE the blood pressure of any hockey loving fan!

The Dynamic DOUCHE NOZZLE Jeremy Jacobs comes with the following features/abilities:

  • The UNCANNY super power to DERAIL labor negotiations
  • BULLY small market owners and bring them to tears
  • NON-LUBRICATED ¬†middle finger that he can shove up the NHL & Bruins fans’ asses
  • Pull the string to hear the following Jacobisms:
  1. “More than ever, we know who we are, what’s important to us and where we are going.”
  2. “Neely Brought Us The Cup, Something He Couldn’t Do As A Player”
  3. “I’m From Buffalo Why Would I Give A Rat’s Fat Ass About The People From Boston?”
  4. “I LOVE Lockouts. It’s Like VIAGRA For Me!”
  • No batteries needed, this action figured is powered by melted down gold and $100 bills!
Get yours today & feel free to blow it up with M-80’s!




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