Bruins-Penguins: How To Bait A Moron & Score A Goal By Prof. Brad Marchand (GIF)
BST&N would like to welcome Professor Marchand of the Boston Bruins. Brad is here to teach young hockey players how to bait a moron and score a back breaking goal. Take it away Marchy:
“Thank Joe. Class I hope you enjoyed our hockey clinic last night in Pittsburgh. It was good to get a win and score two big goals.
Students please take a look at the GIF on the screen. I was able to educate that Cro-magon man Matt Cooke on my bait and back break technique.
You want to follow these three easy steps to engage your knuckle dragging adversary:
1. Agitate and get under your opponent’s skin, I call this “The Litte Ball of Hate Lecture”
2. As his blood boils and he sees red, be sure to pay attention to the play developing (Cookie failed this)
3. Take the pass, skate down the ice and destroy your opposition’s short lived momentum with the back breaker
Not much to it class, especially when you execute this technique to perfection over Matt Cookie. I guess his fortune read “I have been re-born and still hurt my team with the stupid tough guy act.” See what I did there…Fortune Cookie….haha
Thanks all for having me and hope to see you at my next schooling of the Pittsburgh Penguins”