Boston Sports Then and Now

Brady’s hair outshines Rams

Since his appearance courtside during the NBA Finals, Tom Brady has drawn a lot of comparisons to Justin Bieber. They say it’s the hair. I’m not sure if that’s the case. I’ve never seen this Bieber kid, but from what I’ve heard, he’s the apple of the eye of every 12-year old girl whose mother thought Nick Carter was “dreamy” and couldn’t wait until marriage.

But last night at the Razor, it seems like Brady’s anti-fro got in his eyes. Or at least it must have seemed that way to the Rams’ secondary, who couldn’t get a read on anything that Brady was doing as he tore them up for over 270 yards and three touchdowns.

It seems the glare had its effect on the Pats’ defense, too, as they found themselves completely unable to stop anything, much less the laser arm of Sam Bradford, as the Rams defeated the Pats, 36-35 on a last-second Josh Brown field goal.

It all leaves one to wonder: Is Bradford the anti-Bieber? And if so, why hasn’t Jive records signed him to a deal?

Didn't he used to be so cute?

Red Sox continue to tread water in soggy Fens

This week at the YMCA, the “Tuna” group completed its first diving classes. The class is comprised mostly of once-members of the 2010 Boston Red Sox, and all 38 players passed with flying colors, although there were a few question marks during the class itself. Dustin Pedroia – once MVP and Rookie of the Year on the baseball diamond – spoke at length prior to the class about how he “invented the laser show” and didn’t “need no newfangled swimming lessons.”
Former Red Sox centerfielder and leadoff man Jacoby Ellsbury complained that hitting the water “made [his] tummy hurt,” and some other whiny nonsense.

While the incapacitated version of the 2010 Red Sox were busy learning to swim, their able colleagues spent the week treading water in a rain-soaked Fenway Park against the soon-to-be Oklahoma City Mariners. Or Tornadoes. Well, whatever. Just don’t let the Starbucks guy near them.

Rondo leaves team USA, takes his Red Bull with him

Director of U.S. Basketball operations Jerry Colangelo is currently in talks with representatives from Five-Hour Energy, Monster and the Guys Who Used to Make Surge as he attempts to procure a method for giving his FIBA world championships team some motivation to win after stud point guard and Celtics poster-boy Rajon Rondo unexpectedly left the team, citing family issues. When asked about the circumstances surrounding his departure, Rondo noted that “one, I don’t play with no high-falootin’ Lakers and two, none of those guys are even close to 33. Didn’t Colangelo know I only play with guys who are past their prime?” He went on to amend his earlier statement, saying that “Glen Davis? He ain’t past his prime yet. But dude’s messed up something wicked.”

Colangelo’s attempts to procure another energy provider have not been terribly successful thus far. If talks with the energy beverage companies stay at an impasse, Colangelo has noted that he may pursue a relationship with National Grid because, while it may not give energy to the US team, it will also “knock the power out of those Canadian bastards, eh?” If all else fails, Colangelo has BP listed as his last resort.

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Shaq: The Big Shamrock

With the recent signing of Shaquille O’Neal, the Celtics have added yet another veteran to their already aging roster. The Celtics are starting to look like a YMCA men’s league of 30-somethings in, as ESPN calls it, “the twilight of their careers.”

This offseason the Celtics have tied up contracts with Ray Allen, Paul Pierce, Jermaine O’Neal and Shaquille O’Neal. We cannot forget about two other veteran Celtics in Kevin Garnett and Rasheed Wallace (who is pondering retirement).

With that being said, lets take a look at the roster (as of now) that the Celtics have and who the aging stars are. Leading the pack is the recently signed Shaquille O’Neal who is 38 years old, followed by Rasheed Wallace and Ray Allen at 35. The 34 year old Kevin Garnett follows, with Paul Pierce trailing at age 32. The final 30-something on the Celtics roster is Jermaine O’Neal who is 31 years old.

In a time where a 30 year old athlete is often pegged as declining, simply by his age, the Celtics have a frighteningly old roster.

Paul Pierce just signed a four year contract and will hopefully retire a Celtic. I have a feeling, along with many other people, that this Celtics roster will have a very different look four or five years from now.

I hate to dwell on the age factor as we do have some young talent. At 24, Rajon Rondo is one of the most skilled and exciting players in the league. We also have Glen Davis, who is 24, Kendrick Perkins who is 25, and 3-time NBA Slam Dunk champion Nate Robinson who is 26.

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The Celtics added two of the weirdest free throw shooters in the league, but all they need these big men to do is rebound.

It appears certain at this point that Shaquille O’Neal will be joining the Boston Celtics. My take: why not?

I had many debates earlier this off-season with friends of mine in which I defended the singing of Jermaine O’Neal over Shaq. It was an unpopular stance to say the least, but my logic was that with Kendrick Perkins out for the first half of the year, the C’s were better off with a guy that could give them 30 minutes in the middle.

Never in my wildest dreams would I think that I would want Jermaine over Shaquille. I believe Jermaine has been overrated his entire career (and even more so in recent years as he finished up his huge contract). However, I stood by my logic that we needed a big man who could give us minutes. I also truly believed that if Jermaine was asked to be the fifth best player on the floor, rather than the second like he was in Miami, he could flourish in that role (a la Perkins).

Low and behold, Danny Aigne brought in Jermaine on a two year pact with the club’s full mid-level exemption. However, the team still needed another back up big man at the league’s minimum. Who would of thunk it, but Shaq is signing for just that.

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January is really a terrible time for the New Year. It’s always cold, often snowy, the days are short and nobody really enjoys champagne that much.

No, July 4th is a much better time to celebrate a new year. There’s grilling, fireworks, some of the longest days of the year, beach weather, beer, summer vacations – it’s just a much happier time.

But whether you choose to celebrate your changing of the calendars in January with the rest of the world or July with those a little more inclined to sanity, you agree on one thing: a new year means two things. The first is a fresh slate, a tabula raza, if you will, in which anything can happen – as Bill Watterson once aptly put it, “It’s a Magical World.”

The second, of course, is a chance to learn from your mistakes in the years prior.

Flashback: Monday, September 14th, 2009. Foxboro, Massachusetts. The Patriots, riding a consecutive-wins streak of 11 over the lowly Buffalo Bills found themselves trailing, 24-13 with 5:32 to go. Tom Brady looked unsure of himself in the pocket, thanks in large part to Bills’ DE Aaron Schobel spending more time in the Pats’ offensive backfield than any of Brady’s teammates.

The Bills were going to beat the Patriots for the first time at Gillette Stadium. On Monday night. On national television. In Week One. Trent Edwards was going to beat Tom Brady – who, by the way, hadn’t lost a regular-season game since December. Not of last year or the year before, but December of 2006. Could it really be?

Brady and Moss will need to be on the same page at all times if the Patriots have any hope of ascending to NFL greatness again.

Naw, of course not. This was Tom Brady’s team.

This was homo-undecuple perfection. They wouldn’t lose at home in Week One. Definitely not to the Bills. Brady wouldn’t let them.

And he didn’t; in the game’s last 2:06, Tom Terrific twice found Ben Watson in the end zone for Pats’ touchdowns, giving the Patriots a hard-earned (but maybe not hard-fought) victory over a once-proud AFC East patsy.

As the season wore on, however, something became painfully evident: these weren’t your now-18 month old cousin’s Patriots.

Perfection was not their forte – petulance, perhaps, or maybe even pitiful was more like it.

And by the time Ray Rice went MAC Truck on their front seven in the first round of the playoffs the next January, something Pats fans had feared since the Week 2 loss to The Sanchize’s New York Jets had become a painful reality: they just weren’t that good.

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While most of Boston was focusing on the Red Sox’ jayvee team trying to mount a comeback against the suddenly devilish Rays, something happened on Wednesday night. Danny Ainge and Ray Allen quietly finished dinner, folded their napkins and walked into the still searing Boston night. Ainge picked up the check for dinner, of course, because the third wheel of his basketball masterpiece had just taken a healthy pay cut to come back for one more run at the Larry O’Brien trophy.

The Sweetest Shot in the game will be wearing green for the next two years.

In a summer jazzed with LeBrons and Wades, not to mention the local nine’s impressive investment in Massachusetts General plaster-of-Paris and any local 7/11’s ice supply, something happened over on Causeway street that can do little more than make fans of the Green easily contented. Paul Pierce – in a moment that nearly caused a cardiac collapse – opted out of the final year of his contract, prompting bigwigs and ballyhoos all over the airwaves of ESPN for about thirty-four minutes before Pierce re-upped for four years at a substantially discounted rate. Four years, $62 million – which, for the record, he could have made more than a third of had he stuck with his option. Allen followed this gracious gesture by taking nearly a 50% pay cut and re-upping for two years at $10 million a year.

The Celtics – assuming Rasheed Wallace retiring is truth and not a stunt – now have roughly $9 million in cap room to play with. And they have needs they’ll use that room to address.

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