Tag Archives: New England Patriots

Open Letter To NY Jets Fans: Shut Up Cheaters

 

GFY New York Jets

 

Dear Fans Of The NY Jets,

You are the most jealous and laughable fan base in all of sports.

You have not won anything of significance since 1969 when dudes wearing fur coats was still considered fashionable.

One of your many inept quarterbacks actually ran straight into his lineman’s ass resulting in the infamous “Butt Fumble” (in case your forgot, here it is again) which the whole country witnessed at they choked on their drumsticks in laughter on Thanksgiving night.

Your team actually fell for a fake spike (here it is again, in case you forgot this too).

Fireman Ed friggin’ retired because being a fan of the laughing stock of the NFL just wasn’t worth it anymore.

NY Jets

Bet Ed is home wearing his Brady jersey….he wants to be a winner and I don’t blame him.

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Open Letter To The Haters Of The New England Patriots Everywhere

New England Patriots

 

Dear Legions Of New England Patriots Haters,

You know who you are.

You work in Bristol, CT or on Park Avenue.

You live in Indianapolis, Baltimore, NY, Pittsburgh or one of the other 27 NFL cities.

You think the Patriots are cheaters, schemers and rival the Nazis for the vilest tyranny that the earth has ever seen.

Bill Belichick is the devil bugging locker rooms and Tom Brady is the boogie man hiding in the officials’ room with a needle.

That’s your skewed perception, so let’s chat about reality shall we?

You are jealous of the model franchise of the NFL and perhaps of all sports.

You hate Robert Kraft because he has a built a 4X Super Bowl champion out of the former laughing stock of the league….yes the Patriots were pathetic and were within a whisker of becoming the St. Louis Stallions (we WERE you, but we got sick of sucking and did something about it).

You despise Bill Belichick because he can out-coach the other 31 JV teams in his f’n sleep. Don’t hate him because he knows the NFL rule book better than his own children (You stop whining yet, John Harbaugh?).

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Mass Craft Beer Maker Strikes Back At Indy Swill Producer For Tom Brady Sux Cans (PHOTO)

tom brady sux cans

Wow how much more butt hurt could Indianapolis Colts fans be that they have to wage a war against Tom Brady with craft beer?

I friggin’ love craft beer but bet your bottom dollar, there is 0.0% chance my lips touch a can of this Indy swill from Sun King Brewery (no I will not back link to this bath water maker).

However, I may want to try your “Whiny Bitch” ale so I can quench my thirst (for a fifth Lombardi) with the tears of my enemies….but I digress.





So, how do New Englanders respond?

In grand fashion of course….

My next trip to the Craft Beer Cellar in Westford,  I will be buying myself some Blue Hills Brewery nectar for their “Andrew Luck Sux” retaliation!

And hey Indy, you better get all liquored up for your annual beatdown delivered by the Patriots and TB12 on October 18th.

You hate us because you ain’t us (someone needs to make this brew)!

Watch 76 Seconds Of Pure Patriots Porn: Do Your Job (VIDEO)

Patriots

The Patriots incredible victory over the Seahawks in Super Bowl 49 has been an everlasting orgasm for Pats fans. Well you can keep the ecstasy going with the NFL Network’s hardcore Patriots Porn entitled “Do Your Job” which premieres on Sept. 9th.




Be sure to have some kleenex handy….

Damn I need a cold shower and a cigarette now!

Pot Of Baked Beans Goes To @Sarge985!

Patriots Fan Hires Plane To Fly Banner Over Goodell’s Maine Vacation Home (PHOTO)

brady goodell

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell is not welcome in New England especially Maine. Goodell owns a summer home in Scarborough and had gone as far as hiring security after he upheld Patriots QB Tom Brady’s suspension.

Richard Pate of Biddeford, Maine hired a plane to fly a banner over the Goodell compound. It reads, “Comm. Goodell Jet home To N.Y.” Obviously, this is a jab at the fraudulent NFL ruler and the Jets fan who flew a banner over Gillette Stadium reading, “Cheaters – Look Up”.

roger goodell

“I went over to [a pilot] and asked if he’d be willing to fly a banner, and he was more than happy to…” Pate said. “You know, the irony is I don’t remember the Jets winning many Superbowls, maybe one back in the 60s.”

Roger you are not welcome here, so sell that house already….

 

 

Watch Brady & Belichick Destroy A Legion Of Goodell Cyborgs (VIDEO)

brady belichick

It has been over 6 months that the sham that is “Deflategate” has dragged on. Day by day the NFL is taking the crown as the laughing stock of professional sports with their whole bumbling Keystone Cops routine. NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and his legion of minions are continuing to destroy the great game of football. So much so that people may question if Roger Goodell is even human at all.




And if you ask Tom Brady and Bill Belichick they know that Goodell is nothing more than a cyborg sent to destroy the world….

Can we just end this nonsense and just let the Patriots and Tom Brady rip the hearts out of their opponents’ chests on route to back to back Super Bowl Championships?

Pot of Boston Baked Beans Goes To The Sports Grid!

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